Poke You With My Sticks

O.K. So I lied...

Monday, May 07, 2007

I really did want to come home and blog Saturday night. But you see...that massage I mentioned. It really did a number on me. In a bad way. That woman was sooo damn rough! I must have said ow 4 or 5 times, she never got the hint though. So I spent the rest of my week-end eating motrin and bathing in icyhot. I kid you not, it hurt that bad. It's sort of ironic that would happen to me. The story of my life, you know? It's bad karma or some shit like that. It's ALL around me...

Sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long after that dramatic post. I am doing a lot better now. All healed up. Sadly, I'm stuck paying crappy hospital bills *again*, and fighting with insurance companies *again*, and on top of all that...The surgery did absolutely nothing. I still have all the issues from before hand. I have an appt. with my Mom's Dr. but as a new patient, they can't get me in until the end of July. I'll stick it out, and wait. NO way I'm going back to that jackass.

the last two months have been a big roller coaster for me. I started taking zoloft two weeks ago. My IBS has gotten so bad I've been virtually housebound for weeks now. I was depressed long before the surgery. But that was just the icing on the cake. I've finally accepted that I need help. I want to get my life back. I've spent the last year pushing everyone away from me. The few friends I had are gone. I can't make new friends. I miss my old knitting group terribly. I really do. Mary reminded me that I can always join the group that meets closer to Richmond. But I can't. I'm too afraid of what will happen. they have such a good group, and I'm the outsider coming in. I know they wouldn't treat me like that. But after what happened with my old group, I feel like I'm all wrong (the world is all right) and it wouldn't be long before I would do something that would cause, hmm, I can't think how to word this. I just think if anything were to ever happen, it would be my fault. Intentionally or not. And I am just too chicken to set myself up for that heartache again. God...I must sound so pathetic here.

The good news is...The kids and hubby are great. Really. Married life is good. Our 10th wedding anniversary is 6 months away. And I've been buying yarn. And knitting. And buying yarn.

How about a little knitty FO as a thank you for actually reading this far?
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This is Thermal, from Knitty. I love love love it! I used knitpicks gloss, Burgandy. I only needed 6 skeins, although the pattern called for 8. I didn't do any modifications to it. Although I did have gauge issues, I ended up knitting it on 4's instead of 2's. I'm surely not complaining. One thing I can warn you on with this pattern....It WILL grow when you block it. It grew a good 3 or 4 inches, which is good since it was too short. The sleeves, of course, were perfect. So blocking made them a wee bit too long. Fortunately, they look good rolled up. I've worn it several times and it is so comfy and cozy. LOVE IT! Here's a picture before blocking:
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When looking at the two pictures, you should know...One pair of pants sit on my hips, the other closer to my belly button. So at first glance, the length might not look too different. Trust me, it's there though.

I'm going to try real hard to start blogging more regularly. Even if no one is reading (And face it, I can't blame you I'm SO boring!). I think maybe blogging will help me get out all these crazy things I'm feeling, which will help me in the long run. See you soon!