Poke You With My Sticks

Where I've Been and Where I'm going

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Yikes! I know it's been awhile since my last update, but I didn't realize it has been over three weeks. Sorry 'bout that folks...

So where did I begin? Fo's, SoXperience, life in general? You know, when I'm driving in the car, I can write three posts in my head. They're witty and fun. But everytime I sit down at the computer to type, nothing. My excuse for being gone is complex in the most simple way. Life got in the way. I'm not going to go into too many boring details. I kind of shut the world out the last few weeks. No phone, no e-mail (not much anyhow), I even cut my blog reading for a short time. I just needed to step back from everything and stew. On what? Nothing really. I go through these phases once in a while.

Lucky for me, I did manage a good amount of knitting and stash enhancement. Details later. I went to SoXperience last week-end. I wish I could say the week-end was perfect. But with me around, how could it be? Mary was a great travel buddy, and was a joy to be around. Unfortunately, I was a mess. Two years ago, I had General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and for whatever reason, it decided to rear it's ugly head last week-end. I had three or 4 anxiety attacks, one that was pretty massive. I was so worried my IBS would kick in, and cause us to be late for classes that I had an anxiety attack. And what is anxiety to IBS? Of course, it brought on and IBS attack, which made the anxiety even worse.

I've had enough of living this way. This time next week, Iwill be at a Richmond hospital seeing a highly recommened specialist/Gastroenterologist. Let me tell you how hard it was to call for an appt. I had an axiety attack just thinking about calling. Afterwards, I was shaking from it. But I did it. It's much too long of a story, but I had a not so nice experience with a Dr. dealing with my IBS when I was a teen hence the anxiety. Not to mention how long it's been since I've actually seen a Dr. for it. I've 'lived' with this for 14 years untreated and I just can't take anymore. After I see this guy, depending on what he says/does, it's on to another Dr. for the anxiety. I've always been unhappy with my life and very well aware that nothing's going to change unless I make it happen. Up until now, I haven't been able to find the motivation to do it. So cross your fingers that all goes well....I'd really like to get my life back. For my Family, and for Me.

The week-end really took a toll on me, and right now, my stomach is still really bad. I haven't been able to rest much since I got home (As a Mother I don't expect to rest) and that's what I need to get my body back to "normal". I even managed to lose 4 pounds in 4 days. I'm sure when I am able to eat more, it will all come back though, which I don't mind :)

I do have a lot more I want to post about, knitting stuff. I'm going to spread it out over a few posts though. I have 2 Fo's, both Rowan patterns ,that I really want to share. And of course, pictures and details of SoXperience! I'm going to spend the afternoon photographing yarn. I went through my stash and have a nice size haul I am ready to unload. Yes, it's a stash sale. I'm waiting for membership approval at the destash blog, I think I'm going to post it all there. I'll let you know.

I'll leave you with a picture from the week-end. It was my first time in the Charlottesville/Harrisonburg area and I loved it. I can't wait to get back there and do the whole tourist thing.